By Sr Teresa Hayward (RM, RN, Lactation consultant, Infant & Paediatric Nutritionist, Baby Sleep Consultant)
The period after giving birth is often referred to as the 4th Trimester. This is a period where there is a lot of change, growth and adaption for new moms. As a mom you are healing, learning how to be a mom, or learning how to be a mom to multiple children. It is filled with broken sleep, cluster feeding, exhaustion and really tapping into your survival skills. Having a new baby is hard work, no how many times you’ve done it before, and those 1st 3months are difficult.
I have put together a 4th Trimester survival guide to help you prepare for this period. These tips will help you prepare and get through this period.
Understand how you will feel physically
Whether it’s the 1st time or not, having a baby is taxing on your body. Understanding what your body is going to go through postpartum will help you to prepare for what to expect. You are going to be bleeding afterwards, so ensure you have a stock of thicker pads. You may have stitches or other discomforts, so ensure you have a salt water solution, which will help with healing. Sit in this at least once a day and try to spray the area after going to the toilet. Stool softeners will also help when going to the toilet if you have stitches.
You are going to be tired. Babies are waking up a number of times through the night. Trying to take naps during the day will really help, else just going and lying on the bed for a while. Let your partner and other family and friends help you around the houses with chores, cooking and shopping.
Don’t be in a rush to get back to normal.
Understand how you will feel mentally
The lack of sleep can get to you both physically and mentally. It is also difficult to have someone else who is totally dependent on you. It is important to take time for yourself, even if it is just taking a shower.
A lot of mom’s experience feelings of guilt. This is normal. Often moms doubt themselves about being a good mom or feel bad for not spending enough time with their partner or other children.
Have a plan for who is going to take care of YOU!
All new moms need help in the first few weeks. Some husbands can take some time off work to help, else a family member can help. The family member or friend doesn’t have to be there 24/7 but just checking in to see if you need anything from the shops or doing each day, or lifts to check ups.
During your pregnancy, already find a Lactation consultant that will be able to assist you with Breastfeeding.
Make a daily routine plan that works for the family
Finding your new routine will help you as you adjust to your new normal. There are certain things that your baby will need – feeding, bathing, sleeping. It does not need to be a strict routine at this stage but deciding for example to bath at a certain time will help you feel in control. If you have another child, figuring out how to merge their routines will be vital to getting through the day.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
As women we are notorious for trying to do everything, and not asking for help. There is plenty of time for that later, but this is a time where you need to ask for help. You need to focus exclusively on the new baby, and let other things go. Make sure you ask for help when you need it. Chores around the house can wait, rather take a nap. If you want to cuddle your baby and watch a TV show, then do that. The dishes will always be there, but someone else can do them. Your partner and family are there for support and help at this time. Don’t forget that you don’t have to do everything yourself.
Make a visitor plan
People are going to want to come and see the new baby. Think about how you are going to handle this. You can decide to only let certain people come or even set up a roster. Explain to them during your pregnancy already what your plans are, so that no one gets hurt by your wishes after baby is here. Also explain to them that you don’t want everyone handling baby and that you would require them to wear masks for example. As a new mom, you don’t need a sick newborn.
You are also not there to entertain visitors. If they want tea, they can make it for you and them.
If you don’t feel up to visitors on the day, don’t be afraid to cancel it.
Give yourself grace
Being a new mom is hard and newborns are exhausting. If things aren’t going great, its OK. Give yourself a break. Remember you are healing, and this is new for you. This is the ultimate “learn on the job” job. You will learn and adapt; you just need to give yourself time.
It takes time to adjust to a new normal and breastfeeding can be challenging, and your body may be frustrating. Be patient with yourself!
Watch for warning signs
It is essential to watch for signs of postnatal depression during this time. It is also important to go for YOUR 6-week check-up - this is critical for your health and wellbeing.
Moms often fixate on preparing themselves for the birth and forget about afterwards, but planning for the 4th trimester is essential in helping you during your recovery.
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