By Sr Teresa Hayward (RN, RM, Lactation consultant, Infant & Peadiatric Nutritionist, Baby Sleep consultant)
Babies tend to have different cries to express different needs or emotions. Here are the most common reasons newborns cry, what each type tends to sound like and how to soothe your little one.
Your baby is unable to tell you what they want or need, but they are capable of giving you clues to help you to understand what they are trying to communicate with you. Since they are unable to tell you what they need in words, they rely on an array of whimpers, cries, and screams to get your attention. All cries are not the same, and as parents we need to learn to decipher their different types of cries.
Why is your baby crying?
Babies tend to have different cries to express different needs or emotions.
1. I’m Hungry – listen for a low pitched rhythmic, repetitive cry, combines with other signals such as rooting for the breast, a sucking motion with their tongue, lip smacking. Respond to their hunger cues quickly so that baby doesn’t get too upset. If they are very upset, they will begin gulping air with their milk, resulting in winds or may spit up, which again results in more crying
2. I’m tired or uncomfortable – This is usually a whiny, nasal, continuous cry that builds in intensity and is usually accompanied by yawns, eye rubs or ear tugs. This means you have already missed the early “I am tried” cues. Or it can be an indication that they are uncomfortable, for example, they need a clean nappy or they are uncomfortable in their car seat. Look out for tiredness cues, as well as checking their nappy or other signs of discomfort
3. I’ve had enough – this is a fussy, whiny cry. They will often turn their head or body away from the overstimulation sights, smells or sounds. As soon as you recognise this cry, try moving baby away from the noise, movement, visual stimulation or whatever is stressing them. A calmer environment, with white noise, dimly lit may help relax them
4. I’m bored – this cry usually starts out as cooing and then changes into fussing, then builds into bursts of indignant crying, alternating with whimpering. Pick up your baby or play with them and you will usually find the crying stops immediately
5. I’ve got colic – The cry is usually intense wails or screams, accompanied by fidgeting movements. It will often occur in the late afternoon or evening, and the episodes will last for 3hrs. It will normally start at 3wks of age, peaking at 6wks and goes away around 3months. While it is difficult to calm a colicky baby, you can try comforting positions, such as laying them on their tummy on your forearm or across your knees and rubbing their back.
6. I’m sick – listen for soft whimpers that are weak and nasal sounding, with a lower pitch than the pain or overtired cry. If you suspect that your baby is sick, look for additional symptoms, such as fever, diarrhoea, constipation, vomiting, rashes or anything out of the ordinary for your baby. Babies do sometimes get sick, and it is often nothing to worry about, but always trust your instincts. If you are concerned that your baby is sick, contact your doctor
What if you can't find a reason for baby's crying?
Some newborn crying seems entirely unrelated to basic needs. In fact, 80 to 90 percent of all babies have crying sessions of 15 minutes to an hour that are not easily explained or decoded.
Most of these crying sessions happen in the evening. It may be that this is the most hectic and stressful time of day in the home: Everyone's tired, everyone's hungry (and Mom's milk supply may be at its lowest level of the day), everyone's done, done, done, and that goes for baby, too.
Or it may be that after a busy day of taking in and processing all the sights, sounds and other stimuli in her environment, baby just needs to unwind with a good cry. Crying for a few minutes may even help her nod off to sleep.
However, if you think you're hearing a cry of discomfort or pain, check to see if there is something making your child uncomfortable, such as clothing or hair wrapped around her finger. If your baby's crying seems unusually prolonged or intense and she is inconsolable, call your clinic sister or pediatrician.
How can you learn to understand a newborn's cries?
It may feel like a lot to figure out, but as your baby becomes a more effective communicator and as you become more proficient at understanding her, she will cry less often, for shorter periods, and will be more easily comforted when she does cry. You'll also learn to identify what her cries mean more quickly.
Meanwhile, having a repetitive routine can help. If your baby's day falls into a pattern of feeding, a period of alert play, and then a period of sleep, knowing where you are in the cycle can help you determine quickly what your little one needs. If she has a full belly and an empty diaper, she may be ready for a nap, or she may just need a cuddle.
How to cope with baby's crying spells
There may be times when your baby seems inconsolable, especially if she has colic. Though even hours of daily crying don't seem to hurt a baby, it certainly can leave its mark on parents.
Listening to a baby's wails can be upsetting and anxiety-provoking, even when you love that baby with all your heart. Scientific studies show that it's linked to a rise in blood pressure, a speeding up of heartbeat and changes in blood flow to the skin — in other words, it can take a physical and emotional toll.
Here are a few strategies that may help you cope with the crying spells:
Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that the wailing won't last forever. If it's colic, it should typically resolve on its own by about 3 months.
Give yourself a break. Enlist the help of your partner, a trusted family member or friend, or get some hired help to pitch in so you can take a timeout to collect yourself. Taking shifts with your partner or other caregiver can help, so that each person gets a longer chunk of rest (for example, if feeds are every three hours, one parent sleeps through one feed so they can get six hours of sleep or rest). When you do get a break, try de-stressing with some relaxation techniques, like meditation or yoga, or simply take a warm bath or shower.
Keep yourself healthy. Although it's easier said than done when you have a newborn, try to make time to eat healthily, exercise and sleep when you can. Taking care of yourself will help you take better care of your baby.
Know your limits. If your baby's crying is really getting to you and you're worried that you might lose control, set your baby down in a safe place, such as a crib, and move into another room so you can calm yourself down and gather your thoughts. If you need extra help or just someone to listen, don't hesitate to reach out for additional support from your doctor, a therapist, a support group or a crisis intervention service.
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