By Sr Teresa Hayward (RN, RM, Lactation consultant, Infant & Paediatric Nutritionist, Baby Sleep Consultant
1. So they have a chance to bond
Mom has a lot of time to bond with baby. Straight after birth baby is given to mom and she does skin on skin. Mom is often breastfeeding as well. This gives mom lots of opportunities to bond and for cuddles. Mom is also at home all day with baby whilst on Maternity leave. Dad often has limited time.
Ensure Dad also gets some valuable time together. Dad can also do skin on skin with baby. He can help with burping and getting them to sleep. He can also do bath time and play time.
2. So mom can have a break
Dad looking after the kids so mom can have some time to herself does wonders for her mood. Having a back for her is also invaluable.
3. So Dad doesn’t feel left out
I have seen so often where Dads feel like the baby doesn’t like them, and only wants mom. Dads often feel excluded from the close relationship that develops between mom and baby. Allowing him to do certain things like bedtime or bath time really involves him.
4. To help him gain confidence
Dads usually start Fatherhood with less confidence than new moms. As moms, we play with dolls and are around babies more growing up. Dads often wonder about their new role. Giving dad time to bond and learn new skills about basic baby care, whilst guiding him without correcting him, will help him gain the confidence he needs
5. So mom doesn’t burn out
Babies are all consuming and demand a lot from mom. At the beginning mom is often sleep deprived and is adjusting to a completely different way of life. Having a baby that is totally dependent on you is huge and exhausting. Sharing the load of this with dad will help that you don’t burn out. Asking for help is so important.
Here are some ways you can help Dad feel connected
· Skin to skin bonding
We know that skin to skin contact is important for mom and baby after birth as it has a number of benefits, such as maintaining infants body temperature, stabilizing glucose levels, and initiating breastfeeding. Dads can also reap the benefits too – just 30min of skin to skin with dad will rewire dads’ brain and cause a rise in Dopamine and Oxytocin. This contact helps with the bonding process between dad and baby. If mom is unable to do skin to skin straight after birth, dad can then do it
· Cuddle time
Babies do sleep a lot and tend to fall asleep while breastfeeding. This time can be very confining for mom, and sometimes she needs to do something for herself. Let dad
Cuddle with her while she is still sleeping.
· Playtme
Make sure Dad has plenty of playtime with baby. Playing is great for bonding and interacting with baby.
· Bedtime routine
Letting dad get baby ready for bed is another opportunity for them to connect. This can include bath time and pyjamas. So even if Mom is breastfeeding, it gives dad an opportunity for dad to spend some time with baby first
Cultivating a strong bond between your baby and Dad is important and rewarding for both of them. Supporting each other and working as a team is essential when caring for a new baby
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